Should you continue to live with your partner or leave him/her? Is it worth to bear the pain just for the sake of good times you had with your partner? Would it be better to leave, or continue with groin?

Usually in most relationships, a time comes when each partner seriously thinks of the other whether he or she possesses the qualities to stay together. It is very painful and confusing to arrive to a conclusion. I have a close friend who once told me that in a relationship if it is hard work then it is probably not working. However, I could not agree to him. As I have a therapeutic background, the feeling that if it is not hard work it’s not worthwhile has imbibed into my mind. Several years back I decided to study what works in a relationship. It seemed to me that there are two approaches which I intend to explain in subsequent paragraphs. This holds true in most relationships.

The first approach is “never expect too much from your relationship.” Certain things always create problems. What if sex isn’t so important to one of you? What if you don’t travel because your partner doesn’t like to? What if the other partner doesn’t confide in your belief and agreement? For many this may work well but to me just isn’t.

The second approach is to making chemistry work when your partner is not perfect but is perfect for you. Two key areas where you need to share in common are sexual and best friend chemistry. Though people take it for granted but later on differences emerge which results in strained relationships. Great chemistry doesn’t mean that everything is fine all the time. It broadly connotes that you’re excited and committed enough to work through the glitches as they arise rather than let them stack up.

I face great difficulty when my clients approach me to help them decide whether they should stick to or abandon their partner. This may sound weird to someone already into a relationship. My advice to them is try to be emotional and look for qualities that sound ideal to you. Consider whether your partner has equal respect to you and is equally affectionate? A few more questions that may linger in your mind ­­– if your partner hadn’t changed in ten years, would it be appropriate to continue? Does your togetherness is only an adventure or more about endurance?

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The world today is intrigued by innumerable true love stories just like fiction. There are a number of Web sites dedicated to the reality of love. If you visit these sites you will come to know that romance engulfs us in the same way as fiction does.

Although both fiction and romantic stories provide same knowledge to the reader but in reality each of them has its own tale to tell. You will get a different picture by careful reading and none can replace the other. If you take a closer look, you will find that both draw attention in their own distinctive ways. One gets attracted to romantic fiction mainly because of escapism. You live in a world of dream in romantic fiction. It takes you away from the real world to a dream world where your desires and hopes get materialized without any hassle.

Whereas true love stories have its own sort of gateway, but the boundaries are clear. It, however, cannot really replace the sort of bond one forms with fiction. Most stories are bound by life's limitations though there may be a few exceptions. By reading true romantic stories you cannot enter into a different world. Although there is a charm to it but that is completely different from reading fiction. The truth and experiences we get to know will always carry greater weight. By connecting with the real person you develop a sense of bonding which cannot be produced by fiction.

Curiosity may drive us to read a true story but it is always the inspiration and intrigue that keeps us there. We may be able to form a false reality with romantic fiction, but the substance of truth that true love stories provide can’t be replaced. That’s the real connection.

True love stories draw us because nothing could be more fascinating than reading a true tale about love offset by the circumstance of reality. We all know that there's no guarantee in life. We don't know the odds, or the outcome of our life at the end. What strikes our interest most is the limitations of uncertainty combined with love. Whatever the ending is, we are intrigued by the fortunes and misfortunes of reality because life truly does imitate art.

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Is it always the same fairy tale ending? Boy meets girl, they fall in love, get married, and live happily thereafter. Are they really happy after marriage? It is entirely up to you how your married life turns out to be. Contrary to popular belief, nothing goes right if you are not prepared mentally to live together. Certain things are pointed out here to help you lead a happy married life.

Don't swing between, "Should I?" or "Should I not?"

Never enter in a marriage half-heartedly. Don’t tie forcibly the nuptial chord at someone else’s behest. Remaining single has its own charm, especially the freedom you possess. If you want marriage be sure that you feel attracted to your partner. It is a blunder if you accept someone you don’t have any likings for.

Avoid acting in a manner that implies, "I'm easily available".

Girls avoid flirtatious behavior and ways which show that you are an easy catch. It may invite boys to have some fun with you and leave you in half way. The shy hard-to-get miss has far more appeal.

Always be careful in Internet romance.

Though it starts as a bit of fun but usually ends with all fun drained out of your life. In cyberspace, everyone is anonymous and the real person may be under the curtain. So, don’t get bedazzled by the novelty and charmness of it until you lift the curtain off.

Discuss your dreams with your partner-to-be and also try to find her’s. Ask her about her interest in jobs, household matters, and her stand on matters that are important to you. A girl has to be mentally prepared to take up her new role as wife, daughter-in-law and mother. There are certain matters that have to be discussed without any hesitation such as personal, health-related, and sexual. The couple should seek information from books, Internet, or go for counseling. One should know that sound knowledge is the basis of a sound marriage.

Being prudish and abstaining from talking intimate concerns can jeopardize a marriage.

A few questions like when to start a family and how big it should be are inevitable today. Although in the past these questions do not hold any significance, but today each partner is driven by personal ambitions and pressures of work.

Girls should know that their appearance and looks can send man's heart racing.

So, dress decently and try to look attractive and smart. Maintain a trim figure even after marriage. Every man likes to show off his wife but that doesn’t mean that you have to wear a revealing dress. Though men enjoy staring a skimpily dressed woman, they never want their wives to be so.

Another important thing--The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

Master the art of good housekeeping and always try to be vivacious. Utilize the courtship time; it need not be all romance. It can be used as an opportunity to know each other's strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes, etc. During interaction, develop the habit of I-for-you and you-for-me attitude from the very beginning. Do not hurt your partner’s ago and always give due credit. Remember appreciation is a great mood-enhancer and a healer of emotional hurts. No one can avoid fights; they are part and parcel of human’s life. But the thing is learn to fight the right way. Try to add spice to your married life with some romantic moments.

It is a strange thing that much time, attention, and money are spent on the wedding, which is a one-day affair, whereas no one bothers to train the couple for marriage, which is a life-long involvement. It is found that with a little guidance a couple can be both emotionally and mentally prepared to adjust and attuned to each other's needs in living together. With this knowledge, things that might go wrong can be guided toward right direction in a marriage.

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To have along-lasting, healthy, and fulfilling relationship, you need to acquire the knowledge of attracting your partner. Mastering this skill will help to create the relationship of your dreams. Your calculated first step will insure you toward a long lasting and happy relationship.

It takes time to develop closeness with someone. And intimacy has a much broader connotation rather than assuming it as just a physical contact. Intimacy can mean a warm hug during tough times to a smile of encouragement in an adverse situation. Intimacy is associated with commitment and sharing. Try to find yourself whether you are willing to develop intimacy or not. It requires a lot of patience too. If you fail to handle your own emotions during a tough time, it is advisable to work on yourself before you commit to a relationship.

When you are in a relationship you don’t have to be voiceless or always agree to everything. Be able to say “No”. Find out yourself whether you’ll be able to maintain your individuality while you are in a relationship. Do you find it hard to be alone when your partner is not around? Do you fear to say "No" when you really mean it? An important thing is to check your tendency whether it shifts your centre and focus onto another person to the extreme. If you feel so, you need to work around this and bring about a balance for yourself and your partner. To be in a relationship does not mean that you have to change yourself for another person. You need to give space to your partner and also to yourself. Remember you are not taking charge of the other person's life but sharing life together.

Many couples generally commit the mistake of taking the other person granted after a certain time. We become so busy in our work life that we forget to make effort to enliven our relationship. Technology today provides you different mode of communications. Stay in touch with cell phones and email. Remain in touch off and on throughout the day with quick “Hellos” and “How are things going?” without being obsessive. Bring home fresh flowers, shut off the television, turn on some music and dance with your mate, make dates to go to places you used to frequent like visiting the old neighborhood pizza parlor, or to a hotel you went on your honeymoon, etc.

Never focus on the “nuts and bolts” of who said what, when, and how often. Often during an argument, we lose our memory of who did what, when and how many times in the past. So, be humble and apologize for making things messed up, and always hug your mate. When you feel you’ve been pushed to the limit, close the door on that angle of the issue. Take a walk, and cool yourself. Then return relaxed and refreshed.

It is the trust which maintains a healthy relationship. There should always be an open, positive exchange of trust. If this is lacking, seek help from a professional counselor, if necessary, to find what has been wrong. If your past emotional issues overcome you, do resolve this before getting into a committed relationship.

Are you ready for a committed relationship? Do you plan to settle down? Would you be available to someone you feel attracted to? The above considerations will definitely help you to come into a conclusion.

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Cheating is an omnipresent threat to any marriage. But how do you know if your partner is really cheating on you? Here are some signs that your partner is having an extra marital relationship:

When time flies

If your partner's schedule changes dramatically for no reason other than the long working hours, you need to be a little suspicious.

When he smells different

When your partner radically changes the way that he or she smells, shaves, etc., you might be seeing a sign of his/her attempt to impress someone else.

Sex doesn’t feel good

You might find that your sex life changes dramatically when your partner is cheating. They might be trying new things in bed suddenly or have no interest in having sex at all.

On phone in odd hours

Any phone calls that your partner might be taking in the middle of the night or at strange times of the day can be an indication that they are hiding a relationship from you.

Leave me alone!

When your partner begins to pull away from you and spend more time on the computer or in another part of the house, there are chances he/she is contemplating to cheat on you.

Unexplained bills

Some partners do not cover their tracks well and may leave gifts they received or receipts for gifts that they bought for the new crush around the house. These unexplained purchases can be a clear indication of the extra marital affair.

Darling I need to fly

Few jobs will suddenly take your partner for last minute trips away from home. When you start to see this happening often, it is time for you to get suspicious

Please don’t talk!

If your partner seems aloof, detached, and even irritable. He/She will pick fights for no apparent reason. All this is a clear indication to show that the love you aspire is now gone.

Just a good friend

Your partner spends time alone with someone of the opposite sex, who is been referred to as a "good friend. When questioned, your partner will defend the friendship, and might as well insult you for thinking that way. Be vigilant of the missing link at this time.

Caught loitering

If you catch your partner lying about his/her whereabouts or activities. It is time for you to have an open conversation.

Money talks

You may notice that money has suddenly disappeared without a reasonable explanation. Your partner might be monopolizing the bank accounts and keeping you in lurch. You should smell the rat before its too late.

Road signs

If there is an unexplained decrease in mileage of the car.

Always keep in mind that these signs are not the inevitable signs of cheating. Once you start feeling suspicious, ask your partner to have an open conversation with you rather than groom the green eyed monster in you!

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Has sex become boring? Are you practicing the same mechanical touching and kissing every night when you both are alone? Are you among those people who have a secret passion but are scared to tell the same to your partner? It’s time you get into talking hot!

Many people believe that talking in a seductive tone may reduce the sexual pleasure they have with their partners. Some feel that their partner may feel offended by such words. They don’t realise that talking sexy is never rude, if you do it correctly. There is nothing like a seductive chat before a steamy sex that keeps your passions alive. Mastering the art of seduction can surely boost your sexual relationship. Here are some tips:

Say it!

Say what you like about your partners’ body. You can make your partner’s blood boil with simple remarks like "You are so big!" "Oh! It's like cherry," "You are so strong" and your "Skin is like silk" etc. Such words only bring delight in life.

Question!
When lights are out, voices are low, and the pleasure is rising, ask simple questions. "Where do you want me touch you?" "Can you touch me here?" "Do you want me to keep this pace?" and "How does that feel?" may help both partners know each other’s sexual orientation. When you both will know what makes each one of you tick, you will know how to keep the fire burning for a longer time.

Don’t stop!

A good sexual dialogue never fades away as soon as the physical satisfaction is achieved. Discuss about the sensual pleasure that you have experienced. You can ask your partner "How did it feel?" "What do you want me to do next?" to keep the flame burning. Once you speak out your erotic desires with your partner, both of you will know what the other person wants and enjoys. All this will help you feel satisfied and keep your partner interested in sex.

Talking about your sexual fancies is essential to good sex that transcends into meaningful relationships. So enjoy sex and strengthen your relationship.

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