Jokes

A man came into the Emergency Room and yelled, "My wife’s going To have her baby in the cab!" The doctor grabbed his stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly he noticed that there were several cabs, and he was in the wrong one..... More

A client who felt his legal bill was too high asked his lawyer to itemize costs. The statement included this item: "Was walking down the street and saw you on the other side. Walked to the corner to cross at the light, crossed the street and walked quickly to catch up with you. Got close and saw it wasn't you. -$50.00.".... More

Q. What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A. A good start!.... More

A man is stranded on a deserted island, all alone for ten years. One day a gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba suit arrives at the island. She comes up to the chap and she says, "How long has it been since you had a cigarette?" "Ten years!" he answers. She reaches over, unzips ...... More

Q. Why were Adam and Eve so happy? A. Because neither of them had in-laws!.... More

Q: Why are blonde's immune to Mad Cow Disease? A: It only affects the brain..... More

Q. What is the difference between love marriage and an arranged marriage? A. 1st one is a perfect suicide..The next one is an arranged murder!.... More

Every man needs a beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, sexy wife, adjusting & cooperative wife. But it’s sad that law allows only one wife..... More

If it's true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why so many mothers cry so much at weddings..... More

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die also!.... More

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife!.... More

In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous..or what?" "Not at all, Ma'am, the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying ...... More

An older gentleman is sitting in a bar when a beautiful young woman walks up to him and whispers in his ear, "I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks." He immediately puts his drink down and begins frantically going through his pockets. He pulls out a cumbled up ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones. He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman's hand and says, "Here...paint my house.".... More

A gentleman spots a nice looking girl in a bar goes up and starts small talk. Seeing that she didn't back off he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said warming up the conversation, "Who named you, your mother?" "No, I named myself," she answered. "Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?" "Because I like cars, an...... More

Allan retired in his early 50's and started a second career. However, even though he loved his new job, he just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Every day, he was 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker and really sharp, so his boss was in a quandary about how to deal with it. Finally, one day, his boss called him into the office for a talk. "Allan, I must tell you, I truly...... More