Animal World Jokes

Hungry Snake Having arived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then hehappened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beerdown his throat and went about his fishing....... More

What is the difference between en elephant and a plum?An elephant is grey.What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance?"Look! A herd of plums in the distance" (Jane is colorblind).... More

How do you get four elephants into a Mini?Two in the front, two in the back..... More

What game do four elephants in a mini play?Squash.... More

How do you get an elephant out of the water?Wet.How do you get two elephants out of the water?One by one..... More

Why do elephants live in herds?To get a wholesale reduction on the shoes with yellow soles..... More

How do you smuggle an elephant across the border?Put a slice of bread on each side, and call him "lunch"..... More

What do you do when an elephant comes through the window?Swim for it....... More

What has two grey legs and two brown legs?An elephant with diarrhea.What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?Lots of room!.... More

Every nation has to write a book about the Elephant:The French book - The Sex Life of the Elephant or: 1000 ways to cook ElephantThe English book - Elephants I have shot on SafariThe Welsh book - The Elephant and its influence on Welsh language and culture or: Oes ysgol tocynnau eleffant llanfairpwll nhadau coeden.The American book - Ho...... More

How to Catch a White Elephant ============================= Submitted By Niels Kristian JensenGo to an place where there are white elephants. Bring with you amuffin (with raisins). Climb a tree. When the white elephant is close,drop the muffin (with raisins) in front of it. The white elephant willbe happy, and eat the muffin (with raisins). White elephants li...... More

German Shepard on Golf Course A golf pro was helping this attractive young woman with her swing when his zipper got caught in the rhinestones on the back of her skirt. Needless to say this was embarrassing to both of them since their relationship had been purely platonic. They decided to walk together in this lock-step back to the clubhouse where certainly a pair of needle-nosed pli...... More

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DOGS AND CATS A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a god!.... More

What are the five reasons for not wanting to be an egg ? 1) You only get laid once. 2) You only get eaten once. 3) It takes you seven min. to get hard in boiling water. 4) You have to come in a box with 11 other guys. 5) The only one that ever sits on your face is your mother..... More

How do you get a horny dog to stop humping on your leg?Pick him up and start sucking his dick..... More