Military Jokes

|An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border...... More

|The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and...... More

|Top Ways The Army Is Trying To Boost Recruiting8. Military transport flights now earn you Delta frequent flier miles 7. Where else can you shoot guns and get awakened in the middle of the night by loud explosions besides New York, Chicago and Detroit? 6. Get rid of all those creepy "Richard Simmons Wants You" posters 5. Intelligence spy satellite may be used to watch television 24 hours a day 4. ...... More

|An F-111 was flying escort with a B-52 and generally making a nuisance of himself by flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber.The message for the B-52 crew was, "Anything you can do, I can do better."Not to be outdone, the bomber pilot announced that he would rise to the challenge.The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level, however.Perplexed, the fighter pilot asked, "So? What did you ...... More

|The unit engineer had just finished a talk on introducing mechanization in fatigue details. A sergeant reported thoughtfully: "Sir, I just discovered something that does the work of fifty men.""What is it?" the officer got interested."Two hundred soldiers.".... More

|Two young soldiers were exchanging their experiences of the service in the Army. "My sergeants are wonderful", said one soldier."I wish I could say the same about mine," said the other."You could if you could lie as I do.".... More

|An Army recruiter delivered a windy pep talk to encourage a group of college students to join the VOLAR. But the culminating point of his oration was greeted with cat calls, whistles and projection of rotten eggs and an assortment of no less rotten vegetables and fruits. A visitor asked a student: "Why you throw tomatoes at the man and now you are applauding him?""We want an encore. I still have ...... More