Sexy Jokes

A man went to a sex doctor and told him of his extremely active sex life. He said He had a wife, several mistresses, masturbated, and had wet dreams all the time. The doctor asked which he liked best.He Replied, " Wet Dreams, you meet a much higher class of people in them.".... More

It was laying limp in my hand. It was very long, kind of thin. I slid it between my fingers until I got to the end of it. I was turning it on. It became firm in my hands, and the end was wet. Then it got very hard and began gushing out of the tip.Then I took the garden hose and watered the bushes..... More

How do you clean a condom?Turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it!.... More

"The Seven Dwarfs were all in bed feeling Happy-then he got out of bedso they felt Grumpy instead.....".... More

How can a man tell when his sperm count is elevated?His girlfriend has to chew before she swallows..... More

Whats the difference between a regular toad and a horney toad?A regular toad croaks "Ribbit Ribbit" while a horney toad croaks "Rub-itRub-it".... More

I think my wife is getting a little nearsighted.I woke up this morning, she was sucking on the bedpost..... More

The horny midget found that the best way to make time with women was to be direct about it. So he went up to the tallest blondest woman at the party and said,"Hey, honey, whaddaya say to a little fuck?" She looked down at him and promptly replied, "Hello, you little fuck!".... More

Charlie was in a bar and three babes came up and started hitting on him. He asked if they wanted to come over to his house later. They agreed to come over at after they went home and got ready. Charlie had a friend who worked in a drugstore, so he went to see him. He asked his friend if he had anything that would keep him hard all night long. The man laughed and handed him a bottle...... More

A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play. So he goes to a priest and asks for his opinion on this question.After consulting the Bible, the priest says, " My son, after an exhaustive search, I am positive that sex is work and is therefore not permitted on Sundays."The man thinks: " What does a priest know about sex?" So he goes to a minister,...... More

Have you heard about the new orgasm pill just approved by the FDA for women?It comes with a 16 inch applicator.... More

While attending a spelling session in school one day,The teacher asked if anyone could spell the word DUMB?Darla raises her hand and says "I can, I can"The teacher replies, "OK, go ahead Darla..."Darla replies..."D-U-M-B"The teacher replies, "very good", and "can you use that word in a sentence?"Darla replies, "Sure, Buckwheat is very DUMB."The teacher replies, "OK, well can anyone spell the word ...... More

How is pubic hair like parsley?You push it to the side before you start eating..... More

What did cinderella do when she got to the ball???She choked....... More

A guy rings work and says "I can`t come in to work today as I`m sick"The voice at the other end asks "How sick are you ??"The guy says "Well I`m in bed with my 12 year old son !!".... More